Man, I’m on a rough streak with horror flicks. Give me some good suggestions in the comments!
I know exactly how The Seventh Day came about—I fucking guarantee I do! Either the producer or the writer/director Justin P. Lange had the idea to recreate Training Day—the brilliant crime film starring Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke—except make it about priests instead of police officers.
I would wager my left nut that’s how the concept came about. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t wager that, but a significant amount of money for sure. The Seventh Day is an exact copy of Training Day when you look at the bare bones of the story. We have a young priest fresh out of exorcism school assigned to train with the grizzled vet, the guy (Guy Pearce, in fact) who has seen it all and who works in unconventional ways.
I really wanted to like this movie. All the actors involved are ones I’m fond of, with the exception of the actor playing the possessed boy, who wasn’t able to adequately nail the creepy kid trope. But we have Guy Pearce, Vadhir Derbez, Stephen Lang, and Keith David. As expected, they’re all pretty good in this film. But they were working with an impossibly dumb script.
Training Day simply does not work when you turn the cops into priests looking for possessed people. It’s a stupid concept. Guy Pearce literally drives the new guy around in his hoopty, smoking cigarettes and cursing, as they look for random possessed people. Wouldn’t you know it, they find what they’re looking for every time. Then, like The Order (2003), another bad movie, they depict priests as quasi superheroes, able to take down demons with the power of their words and, of course, a crucifix.
But it gets even dumber, even more ridiculous. There is a scene around the midway point where the possessed kid is being interviewed by a shrink at a police station. The kid proceeds to go berserk, attacking and killing multiple police officers, while either avoiding gunfire or showing immunity to the bullets, both of which are equally absurd. Can you guess which movie this scene is reminiscent of? Not Training Day. It’s just like that scene in The Terminator where Arnold Schwarzenegger shoots up the police station, killing pretty much everyone.
The Seventh Day did have some genuinely creepy moments. But the overall absurdity of it clouded over the good parts.
PC3’s Horror and Exploitation Movie Scale of Awesomeness!
Gore - 4
Special Effects - 4
Nudity/Sexuality - 0
Wow Factor - 2
Acting - 6
Fear Factor - 5
Story/Plot/Originality - 1
Cinematography/Atmosphere - 6
Sound/Music - 5
Fun Factor - 1
The Seventh Day scored a 34 overall PHEMSA. The great cast could not make up for an idiotic script stolen from a brilliant crime thriller. You can find it on Amazon Prime, if you’re so inclined.
If you haven't reviewed The Endless, I suggest it. Low budget but exceptional in many ways.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur8UgpvRPXU
If you want something that's easy to lampoon, try Christmas Craft Fair Massacre.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCtV2OWYtvQ
Cheers!
If you haven't reviewed The Endless, I suggest it. Low budget but exceptional in many ways.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur8UgpvRPXU
If you want something that's easy to lampoon, try Christmas Craft Fair Massacre.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCtV2OWYtvQ
Cheers!